MumMy iN LovE...

I like season like this: Where people working in the office is as many as my fingers on my right hand… Where the road is not busy or jam… but the downside of it is when I need answers or solution for a problem the people who has the answer is on leave… alahhhh, ndak lah terkaraja ini *winkWink* ndak apalah... me go browsing... :-)

Have you ever wished that things are different??? Have the green eyed monster popped into your lives??? Let’s be truthful… I didn’t know that the inkling to just jet off to a faraway place, enjoying just the two of us did emerge in his mind but when we look at our beautiful children: to lose the freedom is worth it…

Goodness… I had the most embarrassing moments of my life yesterday… as per my previous post, I was invited to a Buka Puasa @ Star yesterday… I was with my ex-boss, a male colleague and Star’s CFO and PRO (if am not mistaken, both female) – *Star is one of our corporate customers… Guessed what happened during the Berbuka Puasa??? I lactated and it leaked and the most embarrassing thing of all is all of them witnessed it… The CFO offered warm towels which I graciously accepted… I hurriedly went to the toilet thinking of drying it off… unfortunately the dryer is not the one which is mounted to the wall but instead like a warmer that stands on the floor… There’s wet patch on the right side of my shirt and the only thing that can get it dried fast is by using the dryer *obviously*… and in order to use the dryer efficiently I had to open my shirt… I debated with myself whether I should do that especially when there were a lot of ladies there at that exact time, fortunately Tati (my ex-school...

Here I am started work since last week... Time flies so fast... It's as if I just gave birth to my beautiful bundle of joy and mere weeks later I'm back to work... I'm supposed to head home now but I had a last minute invitation for Buka Puasa at Star so decided just to stay back in the office until the time for me to leave... Had gone to Kyle's 2 months check-up and DrKwan advise me not to force Kyle milk... As if??? I don't... I feed upon demand which is approximately every 3 hrs. DrK said that Baby kyle weighs like a 4 months old baby and length of a 3 months. I considered that news as a good thing... but now I'm worried. I was in KL last week for 3 days and my milk supply has greatly lessen... It breaks my heart seriously... I wished I could give him breastmilk exclusively but my wants it seems couldn't be granted...

Has it been two weeks??? Gosh, I really didn’t feel the time passes… Sun Up Sun Down, and lo and behold it’s 2 more weeks with this sticky and oily hair of mine. That’s my concern during my confinement month: no washing of me hair and no tap water to come into contact with. The second concern is because I can’t freely do housework like washing the dishes, do the laundry etc. well actually I can do all those mentioned if I wore gloves but it doesn’t feel the same. For now I’m taking advantage on my Hunky… Kasian!!! Hunky: 2 more weeks… OMG, it means another 6 weeks before I have to go back to work… that I’m not looking forward to. We haven’t decided where we should send Kyle when we’re out working. I heard that Taska Flora is ok but I also heard from a little birdie that it’s not… well I better have a look at it myself… this is so difficult : to find suitable nursery to send Baby Kyle… Mom has volunteered herself to take care of him but I just couldn’t because mom is 69 years old and it...

I’ve been tossing and turning again last nite. I could only dropped off to slumber land at around 3am… seriously this is so bothersome especially when I have to wake up a mere hours away. How am I supposed to function properly if the turning and tossing continue? this is bad… I’m so emotional nowadays… I needed to be cuddled all the time and also pampered by hunky… is it hormones??? It’s creating havoc in my emotional state of mind. I even got into deep waters with MM and I do blame it on hormones because I know in my normal state of mind I wouldn’t be so over-dramatize everything… I can’t help it!!! I went for my weekly review yesterday and had to wait for almost 2 hours because DrS had 2 caesarean and birth to look into… when it was our turn to see him, he looked harassed… Blessed is approximately 2.8kg now and is not engage yet… DrS didn’t have to tell me that Blessed is not engaged yet ‘coz I can see the bump is right below my boobs and hasn’t gone down one bit… in fact I felt tha...

Some people detest durian due to the smell and icky feeling to the touch but I’m not that people. I love durian!!! I love the pungent smell. I love the texture on my fingers and the taste of it in my mouth… just love it!!! My son unfortunately does not have the acquired taste for it J or should I say fortunate as there’s one less individual to squabble over with. Unfortunately due to my condition, I am not allowed to eat durian as much as I want to because they say it’s heaty*not sure on the spelling*!!! Boohoo!!! On a totally different note: Sometimes I wonder what type of parents hunky and I are? Just the other day when we went up the stairs to our apartment, we came upon the Chinese girl who lives on the ground floor. She’s maybe about primary 3 or 4. She’s so pretty and lovely to look at, which both Hunky and I agreed. She looks like a baby doll with slender physique. On the 1st floor I said to my son:- Me: Kyran, when you want to marry make sure the girl should look just like th...

It’s Friday! Should I say TGIF??? Nahhh… I had a very difficult time trying to get myself off from the bed this morning. It has been like this for the past few days… I just need that extra minutes of shut eyesJ so hunky was the one who did the boiling of water etc. Thanks Hunky!!! muahMuahMuah… Blessed is almost 24 hrs active. I can feel him wriggle almost every hour and sometimes it does get uncomfortable. It’s true that the second pregnancy onwards usually one can feel baby’s movement more acutely because I can’t remember whether Kyran was active as Blessed when he was in me. I vaguely remember that whenever I hugged Hunky then we can feel him thumping as if telling both of us to give him spaceJ . Kyran is still like that until now: whenever he saw us hugging, there he will be between us as well… Kyran is adamant that he will be getting a baby girl so he could name her “Gwen”. We told him so many times that it’s a boy but no he still insist that his baby brother is a girl and will na...

I’m extremely exhausted. My head is in the rocks with jumbled stuffs that I have completed. Seriously I cannot do this alone but then who am I to blame when both my boys are gone. Who else can I depend on to ensure that everything is going as smooth as it can be… I have tried my best for the past two days without my two boys and thankfully I’m still sane although I do feel like a headless chicken with so many things to do on my hands. It’s the same now but I feel that I need a breather or I’ll go caput… sometimes I don’t know where I get all these energy to keep on rolling but I amazed myself with the things that I have accomplished in a day. Thank Him Much! I’m happy that we’ll be welcoming a new member to our unit then I can relax a bit. My only concern is will she be better or at least as good as me… I hoped she will be better. Please let her be better or I’ll go berserk. BotakChi mentioned to me that he does sometimes misses Sultan which unintentionally made me guffaw. I mean I do...

The Climb *Miley Cyrus* I can almost see it. That dream I'm dreamin But there's a voice inside my head saying "you'll never reach it". Every step I'm taking. Every move I make feels Lost with 'known direction. My faith is shakin. But I gotta keep tryin. Gotta keep my head held high. There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waitin on the other side. It's the climb. The struggles I'm facing. The chances I'm taking. Sometimes might knock me down but No I'm not breaking. I may not know it but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most, yeah. I Just gotta keep going. And I gotta be strong. Just keep pushing on,'cause, There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle But Sometimes I...

Hunky gave my blog url to one of his friends because she wanted to see photos of son and you know what he cautioned his friend:- Don’t be surprise on the contents of my wife’s blog. She likes to take pictures of us, her families and post them online… So I wondered to myself… yeah why do I like to post my thoughts, my families’ photos etc? If I want to remember all my treasured and cherished memories, I can always put them in MSWord and I don’t have to post them online. I thought long and hard… am I an exhibitionist??? Well, I’m not really… it’s just that things that I love and cherished most are the things that made me happy and believe that happiness needed to be shared to the whole world just like the song “Top Of The World”… You just wanna sing and shout… *now I can literally understand why the Hindi films have loads of music +singing +dancing scenes*. I love to read other bloggers’ blogs too because some made me happy, some teaches me life’s lessons, some gave me odd emotions, som...

5 Things I’m grateful for today… 1) Hunky: Without him I wouldn’t have a blissful life… 2) Children: They taught me the meaning of sacrifice and Unselfishness. Makes my life sunny and bright… 3) Work: blessed because I still have paycheck by the end of the month to ensure that food and necessities are well taken care of. 4) My Health: I’m still breathing and able to work and take care of my family 5) Electricity: Seriously, last night episode with no electricity for approximately 1 hour made me say thank you to God multiple times for giving insight to Ben Franklin… Last night was torture… Occasionally I do take things for granted… I thank God because of the wisdom that I’ve gained… A wedding is just a big momentous event to commemorate the beginning of a lifetime commitment. Like all things in life, a marriage is like a seedling too… it needs air, fertilizers, chlorophyll and sun to survive… when we take the seed of marriage for granted that’s when we see the plant wilted and die… Our ...

I was feeling that something is amiss this morning. My heart was heavy. Told hunky what I felt… I just couldn’t put my finger into it. This morning, arriving at work I knew now what was the ‘something’. I heard from a reliable source that I will be put to this particular department. Sultan asked me whether I want his help to pull me out from that department… deep in me I know I would like his help but I’m a stubborn woman and I won’t for the life of me will ask for his help in this matter. If it’s meant to be that I’m assigned to this department then I will do my damnest best to excel in it. I won’t pull strings to get what I want. I believe in the hands of fate and although I know as the captain of my life I should do everything in my power to get what I want but in this instances my heart just won’t allow me to grovel *not literally but I felt like it* . That’s not me!!! I’m a hard-headed woman and I know I won’t look back to the past and regret this path that I had chosen… I’m not b...

Would you like to be recognized for your talent or because you kiss asses? In my opinion I would prefer people recognized me for my talent not because of my people skills… the matter arises yesterday when Rian told me of his heartbroken due to this… I don’t see any significance at all… I know Rian’s Superiors and it is not fair what they did to him… Rian is a very special and unique person… He has an ability to see ways that can benefit the company he’s working with and he stays away from certain people in the company because he doesn’t see any significance in doing so… he’s a pig-headed, snobbish brute to those people who doesn’t signify in his life but he’s such a darling to those people who means something to him. He was such a mess yesterday and I had to leave the office just to accompany him. Thank Goodness Sultan didn’t ask much about my sudden departure as I’m still contactable via hp if he needed me. I tried to put some sense back into his hard-skulled head and I think I did ma...

When I was in my Primary School days, the only concern I had was to finish all my homework before the last school bell rings. I often completed all my homework during recess. I can’t remember me doing any of my homework at home. As far as I can remember if I had morning session then the afternoon at home will be spent me taking my afternoon nap and then when the heat was bearable, I went outside playing. The usual ritual for afternoon session would be waking up at around 9am, take my breakfast and immediately get ready for school as my auntie van staying next to us fetched me at 10 to 10.30am. arrived at school then I usually finish all my pending homework. That was my life: free from worries… I love my secondary school days, that’s where I find myself active in sports: hockey, netball and basketball… that’s where all the puppy love experiences are the sweetest. I remembered every single sweets wrappers, chocolate wrappers and even all the aluminium drink cans were kept as mementos fr...

We’ve been praying for Blessed and hoped that everything goes smooth and well… I know that it’s not the usual me as the usual me will SHOUT at the top of the world to announce the BLESSED news. Yeah it’s not me at all… if it’s up to me, no one in my office will know that I’m blessed but then my manager asked me whether I am and of ‘coz I can’t deny right. So when he knew and being him: he announced it to our unit and only he clapped to it… My in-laws just knew about Blessed a few days before my manager asked me the Q. And of ‘coz I had to tell my mom because my in-laws and the office know the news… My sis was a bit hurt I supposed ‘coz I didn’t inform her. It’s just the thing that I had in me… I was scared that the same thing is going to happen to us again so I kept mum about it… but again I’m not denying Blessed’s existence… I’m scared and I don’t think I can handle another loss. I’ve been praying and keeping faith that everything will be. I had my BP checked with sinsang on the 28th ...

I sms SanBro this morning:- Morning Dy... Hari ni kah or tmrw tat ur bday? Anyways... Happy Birthday! May all u wish n thrives for come true in buckets full. Love u : ) This is his reply:- O thks! Tmrow, but better earlier that never! Love u The thing is I can't for the life of me remember saying verbally or written I Love u to him before or any of my brothers for that matter... We've never been that kind of open with our feelings. I can't seem to understand why all of a sudden I've become transparent... I suppose it's a good thing. I think he sort of knew that I Love him but I suppose it's a given that you will love your own kin right? but again can you postively say that your siblings love you??? care yes but love??? Love is such an abstract thing!!! Receiving his reply was such a jumpstart to my day... It's funny but true... This is my brother who sent Congratulation Card when I scored 4As in PMR (or was it UPSR)... and YES I still keep it... This is th...

I’m sure many of us have movie/drama snippets that we just love because it touches us. I like to share a few of mine:- Scene from Gubra- When Orked’s mum looked at her husband lovingly and told him that she would probably suffer if he died and he answered back that’s why he preferred the wife die first so that he will bear the suffering instead of her… Cute ohhh I feel. Scene from Friends- The episodes where Monica ask Chandler wouldn’t he missed the thrill, the adrenalin rush for the experience of the first date, first kiss of a new partner… and Chandler answered that NO because they will experience another kind of thrill… a new house, baby etc… so true… Scene from Titanic- The scene where Jack asked Rose to promise him that she will never give up and that she will come out alive, bear children and die in her old age. The final scene when everybody who had perished during the Titanic disaster all waiting for her in the hall and there’s Jack on the stairs… it does give an idea of when ...

When did you start planning for your children’s name? I started way before I got engaged. Initially it was only one name for one child but then a few months before Kyran was born he has a middle name… Next question is:- How many names did you prepare for your children? I decided four children would be ideal for us: 2 boys and 2 girls so we have 2 pairs of name ready. We have used two boy names:- Kyran Matthew Kyvan Luke So we’re out of names for boys… whenever I text hunky for a possible boy name: I usually get a reply “Don’t be Stupid”… hehehe… and whenever I get this reply I shook my head. It’s very hard to agree on a name that both of us like… I remembered suggesting KYLER, hunky immediately call me and say that it’s a nice name but wont people pronounce it as ‘KILLER’! so that will be a NO NO… I suggested KRISTIAN but he said better spelt as CHRISTIAN. How about Kyv? Nope hunky can’t pronounce. Yesterday I suggested ‘KEANU’ and got his usual sms reply… hmmm…

knock knock... who's there? It's me... Me who? Me... I'm back... didn't realise that it has been more than two months since my last post back in 2008... how time literally flies... I’ve celebrated my 4th Wedding Anniversary I’ve celebrated my 30th Birthday 25th Dec, Jesus’ Birthday has come and gone I’ve celebrated the orang putih ‘New Year’ Son is now officially a Chung Hwa Kindie Kid I’m now in my 15th days of work for 2009 Restructuring is in the horizon, I don’t know where I’ll be, who I’ll be working closely with… I’m expecting so many changes and I hoped that these changes are for the better… changes is good they said… how will I adapt? Can I cope? Can I be patient? This re-structuring can either BREAK or STRENGTHEN me. We’ll see…